Alistair's Diary
What in tarnation - how does one read their calendar? You can't see me Evangeline but I'm laughing at myself right now. They have months with funny names and though the day count is similar to ours I just - I just miss the Realm.
I miss you. My love.
Alistair
...and I finally found it...it's a cold month. They call it January. Day 20.
I miss you. My love.
Alistair
...and I finally found it...it's a cold month. They call it January. Day 20.
April 23
I sang to her again tonight. That same song. Nothing else seems to soothe her.
I’ve tried many other melodies, many other lullabies but they all make her angrier. I reckon it’s the sweetness of your voice she feels as I hum those words you used to sing.
Oh Evangeline…I wish you could see her now. She has your eyes. And your spirit. She recognizes me now and responds with a smile when I come home. My perfect angel. Our perfect angel.
Nancy says she has me wrapped around her little finger, would you believe that? I suppose you would, wouldn’t you? Perhaps you would’ve said the same if you saw us together – the way she coos at me and the way I never tire of holding her. She is so perfect. She is my own memory of you.
I love you Evangeline. I promise to stay strong. But I wish you were here.
Alistair
I sang to her again tonight. That same song. Nothing else seems to soothe her.
I’ve tried many other melodies, many other lullabies but they all make her angrier. I reckon it’s the sweetness of your voice she feels as I hum those words you used to sing.
Oh Evangeline…I wish you could see her now. She has your eyes. And your spirit. She recognizes me now and responds with a smile when I come home. My perfect angel. Our perfect angel.
Nancy says she has me wrapped around her little finger, would you believe that? I suppose you would, wouldn’t you? Perhaps you would’ve said the same if you saw us together – the way she coos at me and the way I never tire of holding her. She is so perfect. She is my own memory of you.
I love you Evangeline. I promise to stay strong. But I wish you were here.
Alistair
November 17
Time flies. Seems like an eon has gone by.
She is growing up so fast it frightens me at times. It seems only yesterday that I brought her here. A wrapped up little bundle, uncertain of the future but sure of me. I never had that confidence in myself. I wonder why my daughter thinks differently.
Am I doing well, Evangeline?
Tonight I sang to her again after a long time; years to be precise. Don’t be mad but darling she is much too old for lullabies now. But she asked for it, her brow ruffling the way it always does when she is angry and eyes shining with anticipation. She reminds me of you.
She hates Nancy. I know that. But I need Nancy to keep an eye on her. And you know how tough it is to do that. But Nancy does her job well. I trust her. She will never be her mother but she keeps her out of trouble and that is enough for me.
I sang to her. And it reminded me of us again. Of all the promises I made to you. Especially of the ones I have not been able to keep. Can you not relieve me of them, Evangeline? I don’t want to take her back there. I’m afraid of the Realm. I’m afraid I’ll lose her just the way I lost you. I’m afraid of him.
Aoife is all I have.
Alistair
Time flies. Seems like an eon has gone by.
She is growing up so fast it frightens me at times. It seems only yesterday that I brought her here. A wrapped up little bundle, uncertain of the future but sure of me. I never had that confidence in myself. I wonder why my daughter thinks differently.
Am I doing well, Evangeline?
Tonight I sang to her again after a long time; years to be precise. Don’t be mad but darling she is much too old for lullabies now. But she asked for it, her brow ruffling the way it always does when she is angry and eyes shining with anticipation. She reminds me of you.
She hates Nancy. I know that. But I need Nancy to keep an eye on her. And you know how tough it is to do that. But Nancy does her job well. I trust her. She will never be her mother but she keeps her out of trouble and that is enough for me.
I sang to her. And it reminded me of us again. Of all the promises I made to you. Especially of the ones I have not been able to keep. Can you not relieve me of them, Evangeline? I don’t want to take her back there. I’m afraid of the Realm. I’m afraid I’ll lose her just the way I lost you. I’m afraid of him.
Aoife is all I have.
Alistair
December 19
Would you believe your daughter, Evangeline?
I caught her throwing daggers and knives at the club team match today! The country club! My country club that I own – oh, when did she even make the team? I had specifically instructed Tosh to not let her join any such activities but he pleaded that the team coach told him she was just too good to not be on it.
Well of course, she is! Who do they think she is!
Ah…well, it’s all over now. I’ve pulled her out and told her she will not be going back to it. You can’t imagine the disappointment on her face. It kills me every time I have to deny her something she loves. But then what am I to do? All her passions involve some form of danger and guns and knives and – oh, why can she not be mellow like other children?
And how can she be? It’s not in her blood. How silly of me to even question that.
I need to get her into something less dangerous but just as energetic and interesting. How do you feel about ice skating? Hmm…don’t know why I thought of that. It’s snowing outside. Perhaps that’s why.
Alistair
Would you believe your daughter, Evangeline?
I caught her throwing daggers and knives at the club team match today! The country club! My country club that I own – oh, when did she even make the team? I had specifically instructed Tosh to not let her join any such activities but he pleaded that the team coach told him she was just too good to not be on it.
Well of course, she is! Who do they think she is!
Ah…well, it’s all over now. I’ve pulled her out and told her she will not be going back to it. You can’t imagine the disappointment on her face. It kills me every time I have to deny her something she loves. But then what am I to do? All her passions involve some form of danger and guns and knives and – oh, why can she not be mellow like other children?
And how can she be? It’s not in her blood. How silly of me to even question that.
I need to get her into something less dangerous but just as energetic and interesting. How do you feel about ice skating? Hmm…don’t know why I thought of that. It’s snowing outside. Perhaps that’s why.
Alistair
April 27
I have never seen anything more beautiful than my little angel soaring on ice like she owns it. She loves it. You should see her face when her skates touch the glassy surface and she skids forth. I’m so glad and proud of myself for finally finding her something she enjoys.
Ever since she started to skate, she has become more tolerant of Nancy as well. She was half as grouchy about her stepmother on our morning walk today as she usually is. I’m thinking if she behaves well, I may even buy her a rink of her own. But for now I’m planning to take her to the Redwood Forest Reserve for the summer.
She’s very excited.
Alistair
I have never seen anything more beautiful than my little angel soaring on ice like she owns it. She loves it. You should see her face when her skates touch the glassy surface and she skids forth. I’m so glad and proud of myself for finally finding her something she enjoys.
Ever since she started to skate, she has become more tolerant of Nancy as well. She was half as grouchy about her stepmother on our morning walk today as she usually is. I’m thinking if she behaves well, I may even buy her a rink of her own. But for now I’m planning to take her to the Redwood Forest Reserve for the summer.
She’s very excited.
Alistair
July 11
This infernal heat is getting to me. I’ve come down with something that is forever irritating my nose and my head seems to be in a constant whirl. The doctor says it’s a seasonal allergy caused by pollen in the air and what not.
I don’t believe him.
I don’t get allergic for nothing. And what is pollen but plant seed. What is there for me to be allergic to? Something feels off. Something sinister seems afoot. I’m cancelling the summer trip. Aoife will be devastated, I know. But her safety is what concerns me more than her tantrums.
I’m also thinking…also thinking of contacting…oh, what am I doing?
Oh, Evangeline, I feel so alone. I need you!
Alistair
This infernal heat is getting to me. I’ve come down with something that is forever irritating my nose and my head seems to be in a constant whirl. The doctor says it’s a seasonal allergy caused by pollen in the air and what not.
I don’t believe him.
I don’t get allergic for nothing. And what is pollen but plant seed. What is there for me to be allergic to? Something feels off. Something sinister seems afoot. I’m cancelling the summer trip. Aoife will be devastated, I know. But her safety is what concerns me more than her tantrums.
I’m also thinking…also thinking of contacting…oh, what am I doing?
Oh, Evangeline, I feel so alone. I need you!
Alistair
August 26
Life is normal. Almost good as good can be without you in it. If it wasn’t for Aoife, I would have ended my existence a long time ago. But she is my lifeline. She is the reason I still breathe knowing that every moment that I live I spend without you.
I miss you a lot tonight.
Do you know what day it is? We met today – so many eons ago. To celebrate that I bought Aoife her ice rink as I’d promised. She loves it. Says it’s the best gift she’s ever had. My perfect angel. She will never know how much I love her. No child ever can lest they cut open their parent’s heart.
I also did something else today, Evangeline. Something that I had been putting off all these years because I was too afraid. I am not anymore. I have decided to fulfill my last promise to you. I’ve rewritten my will and contacted our friends. I truly hope Aoife will forgive me for all this.
It is best for her.
Alistair
Life is normal. Almost good as good can be without you in it. If it wasn’t for Aoife, I would have ended my existence a long time ago. But she is my lifeline. She is the reason I still breathe knowing that every moment that I live I spend without you.
I miss you a lot tonight.
Do you know what day it is? We met today – so many eons ago. To celebrate that I bought Aoife her ice rink as I’d promised. She loves it. Says it’s the best gift she’s ever had. My perfect angel. She will never know how much I love her. No child ever can lest they cut open their parent’s heart.
I also did something else today, Evangeline. Something that I had been putting off all these years because I was too afraid. I am not anymore. I have decided to fulfill my last promise to you. I’ve rewritten my will and contacted our friends. I truly hope Aoife will forgive me for all this.
It is best for her.
Alistair
